Monday, June 24, 2013

Are You Tired And Unmotivated? Check This Out!

For the low, low price of nothing at all, I bring you the Ultimate Guide to Getting Over Writer's Block and Procrastination (UGGOWBP)!

It's fun! It's sparkly! And it's not guaranteed to help you in any way, but, hey, we'll try!

Drumroll, please...

Close enough.

Step One
Stop staring at that blank page. It's not going to move. It's not going to fill itself with beautiful, crappy writing. And that blinking bar (also know as the insertion point) will just drive you into a deeper form of insanity.

That's right. Stand up. Walk out that door. Continue walking for... I don't know... An hour. Or until people start staring at you because you haven't bothered to change out of your pajamas. 

Step Two
While walking, acknowledge this simple fact–

Writing is hard!! And not all people are cut out for it. You, however, are a mighty warrior who will fill all sheets of paper with drama and tension and death. Ok. Maybe not death. 

Step Three
Once you've returned home, shut the computer off. Yes, you heard what I said. SHUT IT OFF. NOW.

Now pick up a pen/cil and some paper. That's right. We're going old school.

Step Four
Write. About anything, anyone, anywhere. Write about a memory of yours or a distant land. Write about a girl you've never met. Good, bad, disgusting, I don't care. Just write something. You don't have to finish it. You don't even have to like it. Challenge yourself to write one page, then two, then three.

If you still have Writer's Block at this point, return to Step One. If you still have Procrastination, well, you probably haven't made it this far yet. 

Step Five
Now that you have successfully reached Step Five, repeat Step Four for a couple of days until all is right in your world. At that point, you may return to the computer and fill that blank sheet of paper with joy and sadness. Should Writer's Block ever strike again, just return to step one. 

Now, may the force be ever in your favor, Mr. Potter. 


That's pretty much it. I hope UGGOWBP really helped you because I know it helped me! Just follow these steps and you'll go from this:

To this:

In very little time!

The Best of Writing,


P.S. Sorry for the long vacation. I guess I needed a break. I couldn't think of anything to write about.